I’ve been revisiting Tim Buckley’s music and I can’t help but think of what could have been.  Musically, it’s great what we have and what was remains what was.  We were only given one direction in this life and that is . . forward (whether we like it or not).  even if you believe in reincarnation, you still can’t redo the past like press restart on a video game.  Make no mistake,  Tim Buckley was a trainwreck of a person.  Some people in the comments for the Starsailor album on youtube (two actually) gushed about their lust over Tim Buckley, Lee Underwood’s biography and what a devoted father he was.  First off, we will ignore their lust over a dead man.  Lee Underwood’s biography had been contradicted by most of those who knew Tim Buckley and is largely dismissed as inaccurate according to the book Dream Brother.   (However, in some small defense of Underwood, most memoirs are inaccurate and are over-sentimental by nature). The idea of Tim Buckley as such a devoted father is rubbish.  If Jeff Buckley were alive we would tell you (actually his mother could).  Jeff Buckley saw his dad on only two occasions in his entire life!

This is not to say that Tim Buckley cared nothing for his son.  Like many young and unprepared father’s he didn’t know what to do and like so many with a drug habit he couldn’t face it.  Tim Buckley did seem to express his feelings of guilt in some of his songs.  Music was his world and drugs insulated it.  He was a genius. . .   so was his son.

Though Jeff Buckley tried to distance himself from his dad’s career publicly.  Privately, however, he listened to his dad’s music intently.  It was the only connection he could have with his dad.  Fortunately, his second and last meeting with his dad was a happy one.  Tim Buckley was determined to be there for his son after that visit but did not live to make good on it.

As evidenced by Jeff Buckley’s journals, Jeff thought of Tim often and wrote letters to his dead father.  These notes were all about Tim’s music and what a crime it was that so many did not get his later stuff.  Jeff also admired Tim’s refusal to remain the cute folksinger.  Tim’s ghost, however, hovered over Jeff.  Actually, more like the ghost of his fans illusions.  He would resent being approached by Tim’s fans who expected him to some kind of substitute for his father or just prattle on about Tim’s music like his didn’t exist.  Jeff, like his dad, rebelled against being classified as the cute pop star and hated the cover that adorned Grace.  Jeff had the wisdom to assemble a band behind him that was a working unit.  Personality conflicts arose and it was a shame his drummer didn’t stay.

Like his father, Jeff’s music was starting depart from the mainstream and get more complex.  There are usually three reasons artists have for departing from the mainstream: 1.) Pretention (the attention getting kind) 2.) Because they have so much in their head that they need more colours in their paintbox.  It’s very hard to express everything in your head that you want to.  (Side story:  Beethoven was greeted by an admirer of his music who gushed about his genius.  Beethoven’s reply, “My music is nothing compared to what’s in my head.”) 3.) To totally destroy their image because they are tired of it.  Many times it’s a combination of all three.  Both Tim and Jeff were struggling to get what was in their heads out.

Sadly, Tim had several albums to get closer to what he wanted to accomplish whereas Jeff did not (despite living longer).  If you listen to Tim Buckley’s last few albums (from Lorca on), you will hear a man struggling to reach this higher ground, these transmissions from beyond that seem to be maddeningly just beyond grasp.  Listen to Jeff Buckley’s posthumous My Sweetheart, the Drunk You’ll hear the same thing (especially the second disc).  The first disc of Jeff’s second album could have been released and would have sold well but maybe a little less than Grace but very well nonetheless.  As Tom Verlaine who produced the album said when Jeff expressed his frustration and dissatisfaction with the album, “There’s nothing to ashamed of here.”  Tom Verlaine encouraged Jeff to release it but Jeff was determined to rerecord it with new songs and to make it perhaps a double.  Just as the plane with his band who were ready to work on the new  stuff was landing, Jeff drowned.

Dream Brother by David Browne is highly suggested reading (especially the journal excerpts).  The music, however, stands on its own.  It can be challenging but worth it.  Tim Buckley’s Anthology is a good start.  Jeff Buckley’s song, “Dream Brother” is a good summation about his ties with his father. . . incredible song.